Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 8)

Instead we should take as our model for imitation the Lord himself when he says: I have come not to indulge my own desires but to do the will of him who sent me. (From para. 8 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I don't understand humility to be pathetic self-abasement. Instead, I understand it as choosing martyrdom, in the true sense, as Jesus did. Perhaps it's too grand to say that I "choose martyrdom". But I do choose to discern the most redemptive path, which is always God's will.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 7)

And so, if the eyes of the Lord are watching the good and the wicked, and if at all times the Lord looks down from heaven on the sons and daughters of men to see if any show understanding in seeking God, and if the angels assigned to care for us report our deeds to the Lord day and night, we must be on our guard every hour or else, as the psalmist says, the time may come when God will observe us falling into evil ways and so be made worthless. (From para. 7 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

This is a long and difficult sentence for me, because although I'm heartened by the clarity of purpose in "seeking God", the word at the end, "worthless" falls hard upon me. I want to understand that word, for myself, as that feeling I experience when I'm confronted with something bigger than I can handle, but then realize redemption is always a choice.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 6-7)

As to pursuing our own will we are warned against that when scripture says to us: turn away from your own desires; and in the Lord's prayer itself we pray that his will may be brought to fulfilment in us. (From para. 6 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

What is "the will of God" but for me to choose the most redemptive way of living?

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 5)

One who follows that way finds protection at all times from sin and vice of thought, of tongue, of hand, of foot, of self-will and of disordered sensual desire, so as to lead a life that is completely open before the scrutiny of God and of his angels who watch over us from hour to hour. (From para. 5 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

"Scrutiny" can sound like a term that's harsh and judgmental -- but what could it mean but for God and his angels to watch over me, to know me thoroughly, inside and out, deeper than I know myself, and to know why I'm charged with the wonder of human life?

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 4)

The first step of humility is to cherish at all times the sense of awe with which we should turn to God. It should drive forgetfulness away... (From para. 4 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Like the mantra does. With the gradually expanding consciousness that Jesus is in the midst of all my circumstances. And discovering redemptiveness even in tragedy.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 1-3)

He taught us by these words that whenever one of us is raised to a position of prominence there is always an element of pride involved. (From para. 1 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Pride seems to me to be a stiff and egotistical thing, as opposed to the warm beating of a serving heart.

Chapter 6: Cherishing silence in the monastery

I am guarded about the way I speak and have accepted silence in humility refraining even from words that are good. (From para. 1 of Ch. 6 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Linking silence with humility reminds me not to rely on ego-driven words to resist, control or even improve life according to my design. Instead, silence teaches me to sink into the humus of the divine ground and discover from there what is most redemptive in any situation.

Chapter 5: Monastic obedience (paragraph 4)

We should remember, however, that such obedience will be acceptable to God and rewarding to us, if we carry out the orders given us in a way that is not fearful, nor slow, nor half-hearted, nor marred by murmuring or the sort of compliance that betrays resentment. (From para. 4 of Ch. 5 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The destructive behaviors that St. Benedict so astutely describes are passive-aggressive; for me, the way forward out of such a negative cycle is kindness of heart -- a fruit of (and preparation for) meditation.

Chapter 5: Monastic obedience (paragraphs 1-3)

It is, in fact, almost in one single moment that a command is uttered by the superior and the task carried to completion by the disciple, showing how much more quickly both acts are accomplished together because of their reverence for God. (From para. 2 of Ch. 5 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

There is something in this description of obedience that speaks to me about the quality of contemplative time, about attention to the Divine presence, about selfless service, and even of being ready to die.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 9-13)

The workshop in which we are called to work along these lines with steady perseverance is the enclosure of the monastery and stability in community life. (From para. 13 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Monastic enclosure and stability, fitted to my life as a contemplative householder, take on a quality that I identify as discipline.  I ask myself: What does the discipline of Christian meditation teach me? About the priority of prayer before the demands of my ego? About knowing what my practice is, even if I miss it. About learning to pray continuously? About the necessity of growing through relationship? About resolving upsets in a spirit mutual respect? About service?

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 6-8)

Keep the reality of death always before your eyes, have a care about how you act every hour of your life and be sure that God is present everywhere and that he certainly sees and understands what you are about. (From para. 7 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Keeping the reality of death always before my eyes is countercultural advice, to say the least. But it gets easier as I get older, both through scrapes with mortality and the realization that all I can really do with life is to love it on its own terms. But most significantly, letting go of my ego in meditation gives me a glimmering of experience of the quality of being that comprehensively bright and expansive and ever-present.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 3-5)

Don't let your actions be governed by anger nor nurse your anger against a future opportunity of indulging it. (From para. 3 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Resentment can grow like a tightening band around my heart. To forgive another or myself allows my heart to beat strong and free, and in this pulse of Christ I become kind.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 1-2)

The first of all things to aim at is to love the Lord God with your whole heart and soul and strength and then to love your neighbour as much as you do yourself. (From para. 1of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict's first rules in Christian and monastic life are down-to-earth, relational, and respectful. But the aim of which he speaks is for me, clearly, the practice of the mantra, the selfless focussing of attention that leads to purity of heart.

Chapter 3: Calling the community together for consultation (paragraphs 2-3)

In a monastery no one should follow the prompting of what are merely personal desires nor should any monk or nun take it on themselves to oppose the abbot or abbess defiantly, especially in a public forum outside the monastery. (From para. 2 of Ch. 3 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I've leaned that a fruit of meditation can involve putting aside "what are merely personal desires",  so that I become more attuned to the promptings of the Spirit that move among us all.

Chapter 3: Calling the community together for consultation (paragraph 1)

To get the balance right it should be remembered that, whereas it is right for subordinates to obey their superior, it is just as important for the superior to be far-sighted and fair in administration. (From para. 1 of Ch. 3 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Community (or family) life, as opposed to autonomous individualism, calls for a balance in me of selflessness and discernment. These are hard-won conditions and require much grace, and yet I know them as conditions that call forth my true nature. 

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 8-9)

It is above all important that monastic superiors should not underrate or think lightly of the salvation of the souls committed to them by giving too much attention to transient affairs of this world which have no lasting value. (From para. 8 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

What is "transient" is often so because of the corrupted quality of attention I give it. If my ego is trying to control circumstances, then those circumstances may lose their salvific value. But anything I treat with selfless attention and service towards others is blessed with eternal love.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 7)

It is the task of the superiors to adapt with sympathetic understanding to the needs of each so that they may not only avoid any loss but even have the joy of increasing the number of good sheep in the flock committed to them. (From para. 7 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I think this says something about creating community.  Sympathetic understanding could easily be superficial unless it's grounded in true self-knowledge.  True self-knowledge is an attractive power -- a unifying power of the Spirit -- that calls out to others who also desire union with their Source.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 5-6)

Thus in adapting to changing circumstances they should us now the encouragement of a loving parent and now the threats of a harsh disciplinarian. (From para. 5 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I don't know of many circumstances in my life where harsh threats are appropriate. But I resonate deeply with Benedict's advice that communication with another must not be simply on my terms. Rather, I see the need to communicate as an opportunity to bring out, sometimes with kind endurance, the best in both of us. Meditation teaches me the gifts that are called for: patience, listening, discernment.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 4)

They should not select for special treatment any individual in the monastery. They should not love one more than another unless it is for good observance of the Rule and obedience. (From para. 4 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Saint Benedict describes for me a radical society based on not on status, but on mutual poverty of spirit. Observance of the Rule is a way of observing that I come into the world, and leave the world, with nothing except the grace of God. In between, obedience helps me to listen to the truth of God's unifying reality.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 3)

To disciples who can understand they may teach the way of the Lord with words; but to the less receptive and uneducated they should teach what the Lord commands us by example. (From para. 3 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, the practice of meditation functions as "teaching by example" -- praying with Jesus as he prays to the Father -- and so, example can touch experience.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 2)

However, it is also true that, if the flock has been unruly and disobedient and the superiors have done everything possible as shepherd to cure their vicious ways, then they will be absolved in the judgement of God and may say with the psalmist: I have not hidden my teaching in your heart; I have proclaimed your truth and the salvation you offer, but they despised and rejected me. (From para. 2 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

As Mother Theresa would say: Be kind anyway.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 1)

Far from it, everything he or she commands or teaches should be like a leaven of the holiness that comes from God infused into the minds of their disciples. (From para. 1 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

May I think less of myself, and be more mindful of my influence on the well-being of others. May my own mind be transformed into the mind of Christ by the leaven of meditation.

Chapter 1: Four approaches to monastic life

Let us leave them to themselves and turn to the strongest kind, the cenobites, so that with the Lord's help we may consider the regulation of their way of life. (From para. 5 of Ch. 1 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The mystery of the WCCM Oblates, the mystery of our "new form" of community which involves not only a monastery without walls but also, for many of us, physical separation from other Oblates -- where does this mystery get its power?  I believe, from the creative silence of meditation, from the power of our mutual fidelity to this discipline and to the Benedictine widsom tradition. The Spirit leads us to "new forms" --  to "regulation", as St. Benedict says. I live into a more and more ordered life through our community, finding order in the mystery, through the gift of the Spirit.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 8)

If, however, you find in it anything which seems rather strict, but which is demanded reasonably for the correction of vice or the preservation of love, do not let that frighten you into fleeing from the way of salvation; it is a way which is bound to seem narrow to start with. (From para. 8 of Prologue to the Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, this teaching can apply precisely to the discipline of meditation: Fidelity to the mantra corrects the mind that wanders, the heart that sulks. "It is a way which is bound to seem narrow to start with", as my consciousness finds it way to the Lord.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 7)

We must, therefore, prepare our hearts and bodies to serve him under the guidance of holy obedience. (From para. 7 of Prologue to the Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, this passage is not about rules and restrictions. It's about a relationship with God which leads me (eventually) to self-control and to continuous prayer.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 6)

For that very reason also, so that we may mend our evil ways, the days of our mortal lives are allowed us as a sort of truce for improvement. (From para. 6 of Prologue to the Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

A truce in hostilities is what comes to my mind. Trust in God rather than ego-fear. Peace of mind and heart to cease struggling with life, and to accept its conditions. A truce for the heart to expand. That is what meditation is.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 5)

And so to prepare ourselves for the journey before us let us renew our faith and set ourselves high standards by which to lead our lives. The gospel should be our guide in following the way of Christ to prepare ourselves for his presence in the kingdom to which he has called us. (From para. 5 of Prologue to the Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, the high standards are being kind and unafraid, in imitation of -- in the presence of --  Jesus. I believe this creates the kingdom of God on earth.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 4)

We can see with what loving concern the Lord points out to us the path of life. (From Prologue to the Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The path to life that the Lord points out to me is to be "here I am" right now, in communion with him. I await the grace of his guidance only to take the next step, to do the next thing, to be, in faith.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 3)

Let us open our eyes to the light that can change us into the likeness of God. (From para. 3 of Prologue to The Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

May I wake up now, and open my eyes to the light of a unifying consciousness, a realized heart.

Prologue to The Rule (paragraphs 1-2)

It is not easy to accept and persevere in obedience, but it is the way to return to Christ, when you have strayed through the laxity and carelessness of disobedience. (From para. 1 of Prologue to The Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

What has meditation taught me? To move naturally like the breath, not harshly, like the ego. To listen, with the ear of the heart, to life itself. And to return, always to return, with fidelity. Christ welcomes me, and resolves the paradox implied in "returning" to fidelity.