Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 17)

The tenth step of humility teaches that we should not be given to empty laughter on every least occasion because: a fool's voice is for ever raised in laughter. (Para. 17 from Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I recognize that empty laughter is full of ego. But laughter, full of joy in being, transforms me.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 16)

The ninth step of humility leads us to refrain from unnecessary speech and to guard our silence by not speaking until we are addressed. (From para. 16 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Into this teaching I read wisdom about the speed of speech -- or the quality of speech in time.  For example, do I pause so that I may respond rather than react, or even restrain my response altogether so that I may continue to listen to another more deeply? Speaking with a measured but unaffected slowness can have a spiritual quality, allowing my words to come from my heart, and not from an obsession with expressing my ego. In this culture, I think that speaking from a contemplative sense of time is rare and radical, and might frustrate others, but can also, with God's grace, inspire them.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 15)

The eighth step of humility teaches us to do nothing which goes beyond what is approved and encouraged by the common rule of the monastery and the example of our seniors. (Para. 15 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Are St Benedict's words a damper on individual initiative, or, rather, a warning about the ego? Perhaps Benedict is pointing me towards openness to being formed a wisdom tradition, and stability in seeking Christ in my heart. I also recognize the faithful discipline required by the practice of meditation. Humility can foster discernment, and thus, it seems that St Benedict offers me a guide to liberty of spirit.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 14)

I was raised up high in honor, but then I was humbled and overwhelmed with confusion. (From para. 14 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Confusion would be an unhappy end to the story, if I remained demoralized forever. But humbling can open my heart and cleanse me, and grace can bring me to a liberating acceptance of what is.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 13)

The sixth step of humility for monks or nuns is to accept without complaint really wretched and inadequate conditions so that when faced with a task of any kind they would think of themselves as poor workers not worthy of consideration and repeat to God the verse of the psalm: I am of no account and lack understanding, no better than a beast in your sight. Yet I am always in your presence. (From para. 13 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Psalm, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I am nothing without God -- and yet, I am always in God's presence. What changes is my fickle point of view. What is constant and redeeming is the divine energy that sustains me.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 12)

The fifth step of humility is that we should not cover up but humbly confess to our superior or spiritual guide whatever evil thoughts come into our minds and the evil deeds we have done in secret. (From para. 12 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict challenges me to see that to deny aspects of myself that I don't like, or to deceive others about myself, is sin. Through deception, I refuse true self-knowledge and bind myself to illusion. I separate myself from my relationship to God, who already loves me in my totality, and who waits to liberate me.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 10-11)

The fourth step of humility is to go even further than this by readily accepting in patient and silent endurance, without thought of giving up the issue, any hard and demanding things that may come our way in the course of that obedience, even if they include harsh impositions which are unjust. (From para. 10 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I can create for myself "harsh impositions which are unjust". Only God can lead me through the difficult ways of discerning what damages my self-confidence, and what will help me place my center of being in God. John Main teaches me: "To be stable we need to be sure of ourselves. We need to feel we are standing on firm ground and that we will not have our identity or self-respect blown away by the first storms of disappointment or conflict which we encounter. Meditation is the way to this first and basic sense of stability, rootedness in ourselves." (Silence and Stillness, p. 267)