Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 9)

The third step of humility is to submit oneself out of love of God to whatever obedience under a superior may require of us; it is the example of he Lord himself that we follow in this way, as we know from St Paul's words: he was made obedient even unto death. (Para. 9 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Obedience means to listen deeply to another, with selfless attention; it's an ascesis that can cut through the ego. In this way, perhaps, the essential goodness at the core of my being, may respond to the essential goodness at the core of another's being.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 8)

The second step of humility is not to love having our own way nor to delight in our own desires. Instead we should take as our model for imitation the Lord himself when he says: I have come not to indulge my own desires but to do the will of him who sent me. (From para. 8 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Acknowledging that I do love to have my own way creates a tiny space in which I can begin to let go of judgment about this aspect of the human condition. And that leaves room for growth and transformation to take root, so that the love of God may blossom in my heart.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 6-7)

As to pursuing our own will we are warned against that when scripture says to us: turn away from your own desires and in the Lord's prayer itself we pray that his will may be brought to fulfilment in us. (From para. 6 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Pursuing my own will, my own desires -- what am I really being warned against? Is my will or desire necessarily bad? I think that Benedict is asking me to look to the root. If the root of my will or desire is in my ego, then what grows from that may very well be just be a larger ego. If the root of my will or desire is in God's "will" --which I would be more inclined to call God's "nature" or God's "love" -- then what grows from that is a deeper and more loving human nature.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 5)

One who follows that way finds protection at all times from sin and vice of thought, of tongue, of hand, of foot, of self-will and of disordered sensual desire, so as to lead a life that is completely open before the scrutiny of God and of his angels who watch over us from hour to hour. (From para. 5 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Benedict explains to me that if I live alertly to the intimate presence of God, I find protection. In this loving relationship with God, I find that I don't need to live in denial or evasion. What an incomprehensible message to my ego! So much of my energy goes into my ego's perception of what I need to say or do to look out for myself. But what Benedict is telling me about living under the wings of God's protection, is, paradoxically, the ultimate in being set free.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 4)

The first step of humility is to cherish at all times the sense of awe with which we should turn to God. It should drive forgetfulness away...  (From para. 4 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Previously when I've read this passage, I've been drawn to Benedict's words about "the sense of awe... [which] should drive forgetfulness away" -- such an encouraging description, for me, of the practice of setting the mantra free in my heart. But today the word that sings out is cherish -- an experience of intimacy.  To me it seems that the first step of humility involves a relationship, an experience of life-giving intimacy.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 1-3)

The word of God in scripture teaches us in clear and resounding terms that anyone who lays claim to a high position will be brought low and anyone who is modest in self-appraisal will be lifted up. (From Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I understand the modesty Benedict describes as neither self-inflating nor self-denigrating, but as being simply the clear vision of reality. The ego, through puffing up and deflating, can obscure this vision; the ego can thus overshadow anything. Benedict reminds me I will be "lifted up", or liberated, from the shadow of the ego, as I remain true to my practice of selfless attention.

Chapter 6: Cherishing silence in the monastery

In a monastery we ought to follow the advice of the psalm which says: I have resolved to keep watch over my ways so that I may not sin with my tongue. I am guarded about the way I speak and have accepted silence in humility refraining even from words that are good. In this verse the psalmist shows that, because of the value of silence, there are times when it is best not to speak even though what we have in mind is good. (From para. 1 of Ch.  6 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

In my experience, words can so erupt so quickly from a defensive ego, creating a cycle of more and more defensive posturing. Perhaps, the loving gaze of silence can melt the ego, and accomplish much more good.