Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 10-11)

The fourth step of humility is to go even further than this by readily accepting in patient and silent endurance, without thought of giving up the issue, any hard and demanding things that may come our way in the course of that obedience, even if they include harsh impositions which are unjust. (From para. 10 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I can create for myself "harsh impositions which are unjust". Only God can lead me through the difficult ways of discerning what damages my self-confidence, and what will help me place my center of being in God. John Main teaches me: "To be stable we need to be sure of ourselves. We need to feel we are standing on firm ground and that we will not have our identity or self-respect blown away by the first storms of disappointment or conflict which we encounter. Meditation is the way to this first and basic sense of stability, rootedness in ourselves." (Silence and Stillness, p. 267)

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 9)

The third step of humility is to submit oneself out of love of God to whatever obedience under a superior may require of us; it is the example of the Lord himself that we follow in this way, as we know from St Paul's words: he was made obedient even unto death. (Para. 9 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I'm obedient when I respond to another out of love and gratitude, not out of fear or resentment. Love and gratitude are aspects of my true self; fear and resentment are but habits of my ego. Love expands; fear dies; little by little my ego is transformed.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 8)

The second step of humility is not to love having our own way nor to delight in our own desires. (From para. 8 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Delight in my own desires, as wonderful as it sounds, is but an aspect of my heart closed in on itself. When life breaks open a heart, as it does, faith teaches me that the heart breaks open to love the whole world.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 6-7)

As to pursuing our own will we are warned against that when scripture says to us: turn away from your own desires; and in the Lord's prayer itself we pray that his will may be brought to fulfilment in us. (From para. 6 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

In the practice of saying the mantra, I learn to turn away from my own will.  Fr. John teaches me that this is the way of poverty of spirit, leading to purity of heart. When my heart is finally pure, the Lord's will may also be mine.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 5)

One who follows that way finds protection at all times from sin and vice of thought, of tongue, of hand, of foot, of self-will and of disordered sensual desire, so as to lead a life that is completely open before the scrutiny of God and his angels who watch over us from hour to hour. (From para. 5 of Ch. 7 of St Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Meditation teaches me what it means to to cherish a sense of awe at all times. I must have faith that  such wonder will drive distractedness away, so that I will be able to lead a life that is completely open to God.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 4)

The first step of humility is to cherish at all times the sense of awe with which we should turn to God. It should drive forgetfulness away; it should keep our minds alive to all God's commandments... (From para. 4 of Ch. 7 of St Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The first step of humility sounds to me like nothing less than pure attention -- continuous prayer. And humility is appropriate here, because to be in that prayer is to begin, and to begin again, every time I fail, the practice of meditation.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 1-3)

It is just such an exchange that we need to establish in our own lives, but with this difference for us: our proud attempts at upward climbing will really bring us down, whereas to step downwards in humility is the way to lift our spirit up towards God. (From para. 1 of Ch. 7 of St. Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

This is a workout for my ego -- not one that strengthens it, but one that would soften it. A blow to my pride, or a step up from my own self preoccupations, create conditions for me to move beyond my limitations, to find my true place in the Spirit.