Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 8)

The second step of humility is not to love having our own way nor to delight in our own desires. (From para. 8 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Delight in my own desires, as wonderful as it sounds, is but an aspect of my heart closed in on itself. When life breaks open a heart, as it does, it breaks it open to love the whole world.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 7)

And so, if the eyes of the Lord are watching the good and the wicked, and if at all times the Lord looks down from heaven on the sons and daughters of men to see if any show understanding in seeking God, and if the angels assigned to care for us report our deeds to the Lord day and night, we must be on our guard every hour or else, as the psalmist says, the time may come when God will observe us falling into evil and so made worthless. (From para. 7 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

As I sit this morning with these word from Benedict, my mood shifts, from a defensive one, in which my own will is looking to assert itself, to the realization of a loving mutual gaze. God watches me, "the angels assigned to my care report on me", and I'm being taught how to seek God, so that my heart, my actions, may not be fragmented into blind self-satisfaction, but may be made whole.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 6)

As to pursuing our own will we are warned against that when scripture says to us: turn away from your own desires; and in the Lord's prayer itself we pray that his will may be brought to fulfilment in  us.  (From para. 6 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

For me, the Lord's prayer links with forgiveness, a returning to right order in relationship with God, with others, with all of creation. Self-will has no place here.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 5)

One who follows that way finds protection at all times from sin and vice of thought, of tongue, of hand, of foot, of self-will and of disordered sensual desire, so as to lead a life that is completely open before the scrutiny of God and of his angels who watch over us from hour to hour. (From para. 5 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Benedict links forgetfulness of the presence of God (from the previous reading) with disorder. Forgetfulness is a human frailty that can close me in on on my habits of mind and behavior and lead me to disorder, to an "unconscious" life. The mantra leads me towards remembering who I am in God.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 4)

The first step of humility is to cherish at all times the sense of awe with which we should turn to God. It should drive forgetfulness away... (From Ch. 4 of  St. Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Turning, awe-ing, cherishing -- I'm touched by the energy of these words that can drive forgetfulness away. And, in driving forgetfulness away, driving self-will away. Saying the mantra is a remembering of my true self.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 1-3)

The word of God in scripture teaches us in clear and resounding terms that anyone who lays claim to a high position will be brought low and anyone who is modest in self-appraisal will be lifted  up. (From Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I hear Benedict making a distinction between the floundering and noisy self-inflation of the ego, and the selflessness necessary to be "lifted up". I have experienced self-inflation as a weighty mixture of pride, anxiety, and blindness. I don't think that silence or selflessness weigh anything at all, and so are free.

Chapter 6: Cherishing silence in the monastery

I am guarded about the way I speak and have accepted silence in humility refraining even from words that are good. (From para. 1 of Ch. 6 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

To honor silence so ultimately means I am coming to recognize silence as the language of the Spirit, and as an opportunity for communication through simply being.