Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 8)

The second step of humility is not to love having our own way nor to delight in our own desires. (From para. 8 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I can experience a certain tentative happiness when conditions are as I like. But I experience joy when I realize when my heart is animated by the Spirit, and thus I experience joy in the Spirit's animation of others.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 7)

And so, if the eyes of the Lord are watching the good and the wicked, and if at all times the Lord looks down from heaven on the sons and daughters of men to see if any show understanding in seeking God, and if the angels assigned to care for us report our deeds to the Lord day and night, we must be on our guard every hour or else, as the psalmist says, the time may come when God will observe us falling into evil and so made worthless. (From para. 7 of Ch.7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Such a busy cycle of watching, reporting, being on my guard, yet what matters above all is showing understanding in seeking God. That's where I find meaning and purpose in my life, and experience the cycle that matters -- the cycle of being loved by God, and thus my being able to love.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 6)

As to pursuing our own will we are warned against that when scripture says to us: turn away from your own desires; and in the Lord's prayer itself we pray that his will may be brought to fulfillment in us. (From para. 6 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Meditation teaches me that God's will is to follow the most loving, attentive, redemptive path through any situation.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 5)

One who follows that way finds protection at all times from sin and vice of thought, of tongue, of hand, of foot, of self-will and of disordered sensual desire, so as to lead a life that is completely open before the scrutiny of God and of his Angels who watch over us from hour to hour. (From para. 5 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

To be scrutinized hour by hour sounds intrusive, till I experience how liberating St. Benedict means it to be. How can I experience intrusion if I am free from selfishness and disorder, if my being is transparent and true?

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 4)

The first step of humility is to cherish at all times the sense of awe with which we should turn to God. It should drive forgetfulness away...  (From para. 4 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The experience of forgetfulness that I think St. Benedict is talking about here, is a dullness or a defense against the mystery of human life. Coming alive involves vulnerability and pain ("the pain involved in all loving", as John Main observes) but is nothing less than learning to live in the presence of God.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 1-3)

The word of God in scripture teaches us in clear and resounding terms that anyone who lays claim to a high position will be brought low and anyone who is modest in self-appraisal will be lifted up. (From para. 1 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The gravity of pride is great, it seems to me, and pulls me into a self-centered orbit. But when my spirit simply and spaciously refracts my Creator, I am liberated and truly myself.

Chapter 6: Cherishing silence in the monastery

I am guarded about the way I speak and have accepted silence in humility refraining even from words that are good. (From Ch. 6 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

As important as "good communication" is, I think it's also important to realize the inadequacies of human communication, and to bear some situations in a silent spirit of patience and kindness.

Chapter 5: Monastic obedience (paragraphs 4)

If obedience is given with a bad will and murmuring not only in words but even bitterness of heart then even though the command may be externally fulfilled it will not be accepted by God for he can see the resistance in the heart of the murmurer. (From para. 4 of Ch. 5 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

There is a note in my translation of the Rule which reads: "For individuals [murmuring] becomes increasingly addictive and they develop a corresponding blindness to the harm they are doing to themselves and others." This is a challenge which pulls me up short. At each moment is my heart open to the spirit of love and its consequences for the community, or is my heart closed in a spirit of selfishness, and its consequences for the community? 

Chapter 5: Monastic obedience (paragraphs 1-3)

With a ready step inspired by obedience they respond by their action to the voice that summons them. It is in fact, almost in one single moment that a command is uttered by the superior and the task carried to completion by the disciple, showing how much more quickly acts are accomplished together because of their reverence for God. (From para. 2 of Ch. 5 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

In one single moment the command is uttered and the task is carried out --  meditation moves me closer to living in this responsive, creative flow.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 9-13)

You should take delight in sacred reading and in often turning generously toward prayer. (From para. 9 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I contrast this "generous turn" of which St. Benedict speaks with the small, tight, and grudging experience of my heart when I dwell in worries or daydreams. Meditation brings me back to the generous turn.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 6-8)

Your hope of fulfillment should be centred in God alone. (From para. 6 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

John Main teaches that at any moment I may choose where to place my attention, and I'm finding that this applies even to suffering. But what I sense is that there's a difference between real suffering and the representation of suffering.
     I mull on these words by Etty Hillesum: "The greatest obstacle is always the representation and not the reality. Reality we can cope with, even with all its suffering, and heave it onto our shoulders. But the representation of suffering -- which is not suffering, because suffering itself is very fertile and can make life itself precious -- we must go beyond it. In going beyond these representations we liberate true life in ourselves, with all its strengths, and we become capable of managing the suffering in our own life as well as in the life of humanity."
    Through the practice of meditation, I'm coming to see when suffering is real, centered in God alone.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 3-5)

Don't let our actions be governed by anger nor nurse your anger against a future opportunity of indulging it. (From para. 3 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Anger, like any obsession, robs me of living in the present moment. When I'm not open to that reality, I can be come dangerous, so to speak, to myself and those around me.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 1-2)

Renounce your own desires and ambitions so as to be free to follow Christ. (From para. 2 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Recently, in a discussion of my purpose in the universe, I joyfully announced: "Really, I'm not trying to accomplish much of anything!" This was a sacred moment for me, as I realized I was speaking the language of the teaching of meditation, the language of teaching how to be.

Chapter 3: Calling the community together for consultation (paragraphs 2-3)

Such is the appropriate way to conform to that precept of scripture: If you act always after hearing the counsel of others, you will avoid the need to repent of your decision afterwards. (From para. 3 of Ch. 3 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

At one time, I might have thought that the counsel of others would be confusing or harmful to my independence. But as I meditator I've learned that the spirit of unity is more powerful than the spirit of autonomy.

Chapter 3: Calling the community together for consultation (paragraph 1)

The community themselves should be careful to offer their advice with due deference and respect, avoiding an obstinate defence of their own convictions. (From para. 1 of Ch. 3 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Not only are my egocentric arguments tiresome, but they shatter unity and obscure a clear-eyed view of the heart of the matter.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 8-9)

It is above all important that monastic superiors should not underrate or think lightly of the salvation of the souls committed to them by giving too much attention to transient affairs of this world which have no lasting value. (From para. 8 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Every moment I have a choice about where to place my attention, including on "transient affairs" that may become redemptive if I attend to them with a realized heart.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 7)

It is the task of the superiors to adapt with sympathetic understanding to the needs of each so that they may not only avoid any loss but even have the joy of increasing the number of good sheep in the flock committed to them. (From para. 7 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I make sympathetic understanding towards everyone in my family or community harder for myself by busily making judgments about others. Meditation teaches me to let go of judgment and to replace it with a habit of inclusion.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 5-6)

They should make their own the different ways of teaching which the Apostle Paul recommended to Timothy when he told him to make use of criticism, of entreaty and of rebuke. (From para. 5 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

In whatever ways I may teach, encourage or correct another, I pray that my response may be rooted in love -- in patience, kindness, and humility -- so that heart may speak to heart.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 4)

They should not select for special treatment any individual in the monastery. (From para. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I think this is almost humanly impossible. But as meditation helps me to rely less on the lens of my ego, I begin to see others more clearly, and delight in treating them each with uncommon respect.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 3)

Any, then, who accept the name of abbot or abbess should give a lead to their disciples by two distinct methods of teaching -- by example of the lives they lead (and that is the most important way) and by the words they use in their teaching. (From para. 3 of Ch.2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The methods St. Benedict mentions may be distinct, and yet I think there can be a synergism of them in the authentic voice of a teacher, such as John Main. Fr. John would often teach with the words, "in my experience", and the truth of those words has helped me to recognize my own authentic experience of the Spirit. Sometimes I'm blessed with the opportunity to share "in my experience" with others, by my life and by my words.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 2)

However, it is also true that, if the flock has been unruly and disobedient and the superiors have done everything possible as shepherds to cure their vicious ways, then they will be absolved in the judgement of God and may say with the psalmist: I have not hidden your teaching in my heart; I have proclaimed your truth and the salvation you offer, but the they despised and rejected me. (From para. 2 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I may not have the teaching authority of an abbot, but I do have opportunities in my life to teach authentically. May my ego become more transparent so that my heart is more visible.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 1)

Far from it, everything he or she teaches should be like a leaven of holiness that comes from God infused into the minds of their disciples. (From para.1 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB,)

  

A new twist for me in St. Benedict's simile -- "like a leaven of holiness" -- is the realization that, with grace, I can discern the redemptive value of circumstances, and again, with grace, I might share this lightness with others. 

Chapter 1: Four approaches to the monastic life

About the wretched way of life that all these so-called monks pursue it is better to keep silence than to speak. Let us leave them to themselves and turn to the strongest kind, the cenobites, so that with the Lord's help we may consider the regulation of their way of life. (From para. 5 of Ch. 1 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Dietrich Bonhoeffer says: "He who loves community destroys community; he who loves the brethren builds community."  It seems to me that community is built through mutually-transforming relationships.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 8)

If, however, you find in it anything which seems rather strict, but which is demanded reasonably for the correction of vice or the preservation of love, do not let that frighten you into fleeing from the way of salvation; it is a way which is bound to seem narrow to start with. (From para. 8 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

This approach to the Rule is, for me, also exactly the same approach to the saying of the mantra.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 7)

We must, therefore, prepare out hearts and bodies to serve him under the guidance of holy obedience. (From para. 7 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I learn the importance of keeping my body fit to serve, as well as my body's significance in learning compassion through suffering.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 6)

For that very reason also, so that we may mend our evil ways, the days of our mortal lives are allowed us as a sort of truce for improvement. (From para. 6 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The truces God offers to me are to find myself, through suffering, closer to my source and living in joy.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 5)

And so to prepare ourselves for the journey before us let us renew our faith and set ourselves high standards by which to lead our lives. (From para. 5 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I'm reminded by John Main's observation that it's not necessary to keep creating better and better agendas, or self-improvement plans. The one thing necessary for me is to be faithful to my twice daily practice of meditation. From this flows a creative energy that will help me find renewal and occasionally reach high standards, as I learn a selfless way of discipline.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 4)

If you do that, he says, I shall look on you with such love and my ears will be so alert to your prayer that, before you so much as call on me, I shall say to you: here I am. (From para. 4 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The intimacy of this sacred statement leaves me almost at a loss for words, as I realize that I can open myself to be eternally beloved.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 3)

Let us open our eyes to the light which can change us into the likeness of God. (From para. 3 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

When my heart is open, I gaze upon God, and God gazes upon me.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraphs 1-2)

Attend to the message you hear and make sure that it pierces to your heart, so that you may accept with willing freedom and fulfil by the way you live the directions that come from your loving Father. (From para. 1 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Piercing to the heart means nothing less to me than participating in Jesus' free and obedient suffering on the cross. In this way, Jesus teaches me that even the small sufferings of my daily life, especially in community, can be meaningful, redemptive and inexplicably bring joy.

Chapter 73: This Rule is only a beginning

Whoever you may be, then, in your eagerness to reach your Father's home in heaven, be faithful with Christ's help to this small Rule which is only a beginning. (From para. 1 of Ch. 73 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

This small Rule helps me to see what obscures the presence of God for me. And, this small Rule has helped me to address those blocks and say, "What matters is not what's between me and that problem anymore. What matters is what's between me and God."