Chapter 46: Faults committed elsewhere
Any member of the community who in the course of some work in the kitchen, in the stores, while fulfilling a service to others or in the bakery, the garden or the workshops or anywhere else does something wrong or happens to break or lose something or to be guilty of some other wrongdoing, must as soon as possible appear before the superior and the community with a voluntary admission of the failure and willing reparation for it. (From para. 1 of Ch. 46 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)
For me, this passage poses an examination of conscience: is every task, every moment, every relationship an opportunity to work with love and gratitude? Does my work mediate Christ's love for me, no matter how small the work seems? Am I alert to the difference it makes to my consciousness, and to those around me?
“Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly”, wrote Chesterton. That includes living, following Jesus, being a monk or a Benedictine Oblate and following the Rule: all things supremely worth doing. So much of me would still rather die than make a mistake. I trace some of my suicidal ideation in my youth to my inability to accept the truth of my imperfections, let alone find joy in them.. St Benedict wrote his Rule with me--and himself, I’m aure--in mind, expecting me, like him, to make mistakes, to be imperfect in my loving, in my praying, in all I do that is worth doing. When I’m weak, then I’m strong, as St Paul puts it, and I find that surprising fun!
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