This blog is only a beginning

Thank you and goodbye!

I have written this blog for many years in with the hope that it would be a lively collaborative project, but that has not materialized. Thank you to those of you who did share your reflections. It is fundamental for Oblates of WCCM to read a portion of the Rule daily. I invite you to develop your own practice of reading, reflecting, then writing a sentence or two, in your own spiritual journal, about how the Rule is speaking to you in your life as a meditator right now.

Chapter 73: This Rule is only a beginning

The purpose for which we have written this rule is to make it clear that by observing it in our monasteries we can at least achieve the first steps in virtue and good monastic practice. (From para. 1 of Ch. 73 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

These are welcome words to me today, as consoling as John Main's assurance that, "in meditation, we are all beginners". St Benedict accepts me as I am, offers me both compassion and challenge, and continually reorients me to the other and the Other.

Chapter 72: The good spirit which should inspire monastic life

It is easy to recognize the bitter spirit of wickedness which creates a barrier to God's grace and opens the way to the evil of hell. But equally there is a good spirit which frees us from evil ways and brings us closer to God and eternal life. (From Ch. 72 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Why, I wonder, does it it seem so much easier to see what is bitter in others and in myself, than to see what is good? I'm aware of having a stubborn and very human disposition towards alienation. But, its hold over me is loosened by the practice of meditation.

Chapter 71: Mutual obedience in the monastery

Any monk or nun who is corrected for anything by abbot or abbess or one of the seniors and perceives that the senior is upset by feelings of anger, even though thy may be well in control, then that junior should at once prostrate on the ground in contrition and not move until the senior gives a blessing which will heal the upset. (From para. 2 of Ch. 71 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)


Mutual obedience will "heal the upset". As in many human encounters, it's not clear to me that one person is completely right, and the other completely wrong, but the community order holds true. Everyone must be obedient to making the necessary gesture of forgiveness. Perhaps I am to learn that a spirit of mutual obedience ensures a spirit of mutual forgiveness.

Chapter 70: The offence of striking another

Every occasion for presumptuous behaviour in a monastery must be avoided, so we insist that no one in the community may excommunicate or strike another unless given the power to do so by the superior. (From Ch. 70 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Presumptuous behavior, it seems to me, is the opposite of seeing reality, the opposite of right relationship. Presumption comes from the ego and drives me to make judgments and assume power over others. Seeing reality is a gift of the Spirit, putting me into right relationship with the other, without any objective other than to be.

Chapter 69: No one should act as advocate for another

Such a thing must not happen in the monastery because it would provide a very serious occasion of scandal. (From Ch. 69 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I think St. Benedict is telling me that self-interest, even when it appears to be service to another, creates division. My responsibility to community is to allow the life of Christ to act within each of us, and among all of us.

Chapter 68: The response to orders that seem impossible

If the superior after listening to this submission still insists on the original command, then the junior must accept that it is the right thing and with loving confidence in the help of God obey. (From Ch. 68 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Christ blesses me with those who challenge my perception of my limitations. In this way, what I might dismiss as mere weakness, becomes, through deep listening, my "growing edge".

Chapter 67: Those sent on a journey

Those who are sent on a journey should commend themselves to the prayers of all the community as well as of the superior, and, at the last prayer of the work of God in the oratory, there should always be a momento of all who may be absent. (From Ch. 67 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Sometimes my journeys are the undesirable ones of wandering away from life-giving routine and spiritual discipline, from my place in community, from openness to reality rather than to fantasy. But the "momento" of my true identity in Christ is in saying the mantra.

Chapter 66: The porter or portress of the monastery

At the entrance to the monastery there should be a wise senior who is too mature in stability to think of wandering about and who can deal with enquiries and give whatever help is required. (From para. 1 of Ch. 66 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I begin to know an inner emotional stability as a fruit of meditation. My emotions are a part of my humanness, and I experience their transience. I hope to befriend them, in all their peace or their drama, in all their coming or going, and let them be. Compassion for my own wayward feelings may help me to be  more compassionate with the difficult emotions of others.

Chapter 65: The prior or prioress of the monastery (paragraphs 2-3)

We have no doubt, therefore, that it is best in the interests of preserving peace and charity that the authority for the whole administration of the monastery should rest with the abbot or abbess. (From para. 2 of Ch. 65 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I have faith that with one overriding purpose -- the practice of selfless attention -- my inner conflicts can become more peaceful, and my relationships can become more charitable.

Chapter 65: The prior or prioress of the monastery (paragraph 1)

There have been instances when some of these officials have conceived out of an evil spirit of self-importance that they also are superiors and for that reasons have assumed the powers of a tyrant, so that they encourage scandalous divisions in the community. (From para. 1 of Ch. 65 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

There have been instances where my ego has conceived out of an evil spirit of self-importance that it is my superior and for that reason assumes the powers of a tyrant, encouraging scandalous divisions in myself and my relationships.

Chapter 64: The election of an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 3-4)

They should not be trouble-makers nor given to excessive anxiety nor should they be too demanding and obstinate, nor yet interfering and inclined to suspicion so as never to be at rest. (From para. 4 of Ch. 64 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

My job is not to be busy about controlling people or events, but to rest in the Lord. Here I discover the resourcefulness that springs from being grounded in love.

Chapter 64: The election of an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 1-2)

The grounds on which a candidate is elected abbot or abbess must be the quality of their monastic life and the wisdom of their teaching, even if they are the last in order in the community. (From para. 1 of Ch. 64 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict demands the effort of discernment in recognizing leaders. This teaching challenges me, personally, to recommit myself to the path of meditation and self-knowledge. Then, whatever leadership positions I may find myself in, in whatever ways I may have an influence on other people, I may be more selflessly attentive.

Chapter 63: Community order (paragraphs 2-3)

In that way they will conform to scripture which says they should try to be the first to show respect for each other. (From para. 3 of Ch. 63 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

It seems to me wonderfully true, that life-giving order emerges out of recognizing the Spirit that dwells within us and among us.

Chapter 63: Community order (paragraph 1)

So, apart from those whom the superior has promoted for a more cogent reason or demoted for specific faults, all the others retain the order of their conversion to monastic life so exactly that one who arrived at the monastery door at the second hour must accept a place junior to another who came an hour earlier, whatever their age or former rank may have been. (From para. 1 of Ch. 62 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Through his emphasis on the simple act of arriving at the monastery door, St. Benedict helps me to see my own moment of conversion -- my movement away from self-centeredness and towards Christian community -- as the moment I commit to becoming a new creation in Christ.

Chapter 62: The priests of the monastery

When ordained a monk must be careful to avoid a spirit of self-importance or pride and he must avoid taking on himself any duties to which the abbot has not assigned him. (From para. 1 of Ch. 62 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

To my ears, St. Benedict is not discouraging a spirit of initiative or service. He is, more directly, reminding me of the dangers of spiritual pride, and that the ego can insinuate itself into absolutely anything.

Chapter 61: Monastic pilgrims from far away (paragraphs 2-3)

But if no such negative signs are apparent it may be right to go further and not wait for a request to be accepted in the community. It may even be right to persuade such a one to stay so that others may benefit and learn from such example. (From para. 2 of Ch. 61 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

In my experience, being in community means understanding that God has brought me together with others, so that I may travel beyond myself, and find all of us in Christ.

Chapter 61: Monastic pilgrims from far away  (paragraphs 1-2)

If, on the other hand, such a pilgrim monk or nun has been revealed as a guest to be overbearing and full of bad habits then not only should all further association with the community be refused but such a guest should quite openly be requested to depart for fear that such a wretched example might lead others astray.  (From para. 1 of Ch. 61 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, a fruit of the practice of meditation has been realizing deeper spiritual resources to help me grapple with issues of unhealthy relationships, and setting boundaries that help to protect an inner freedom.

Chapter 60: The admission of priests into the monastery

An ordained priest who asks to be received into the monastery should not be accepted too quickly. If, however, he shows real perseverance in his request, he must understand that, if accepted, he will be bound to observe the full discipline of the Rule and may expect no relaxations. (From para. 1 of Ch. 60 Of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

My ego wants to set me above and apart; the Spirit wants to set me down to serve. Thus, I lose myself and find myself in love.

Chapter 59: Children offered by nobles or by the poor

Everything concerned with this property should be negotiated in such a way that not the slightest hint of personal expectations can be entertained by the child in a way which could lead through deception to ruin. (From para. 2 of Ch. 59 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

A sense of entitlement, what I think I deserve or is due to me, expectations of a material or interpersonal nature -- these are all facets of my ego striving for its own importance. My participation in a loving community, and our practice of meditation, keeps me from ruin.

Chapter 58: The reception of candidates for the community (paragraphs 4-5)

When the decision is made that novices are to be accepted, then they come before the whole community in the oratory to make solemn promise of stability, fidelity to monastic life and obedience. (From para. 4 of Ch. 58 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict teaches me that his monks are not just solitary,  but part of a community committed through love to the work of seeking God. Through the practice of meditation, I begin to understand how the solemn promises Benedict names apply to both my journey inward, and to my journey outward.

Chapter 58: The reception of candidates for the community (paragraphs 1-3)

The entry of postulants into the monastic life should not be made too easy, but we should follow St John's precept to make trial of the spirits to see if they are from God. (From para. 1 of Ch. 58 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Considering "trial of spirits" helps me to recognize that sorrow and joy, success and failure, life and death, seem to be inseparable, and that what matters is if I proceed in faith, knowing that I am already redeemed.

Chapter 57: Members of the community with creative gifts

If there are any in the community with creative gifts, they should use them in their workshops with proper humility, provided that they have the permission of the superior. (From para. 1 of Ch. 57 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I've noticed the way people sometimes consider themselves "creative" or "not creative", and I don't think the distinction is very helpful. We may have different gifts, but I think that being creative is nothing less than to live with an open heart and selfless attention, learning to live out of the resources of God. Creativity is the fruit of relationship. What would happen if we all considered ourselves creative in this way?

Chapter 56: The table for the superior and community guests

The superior's table should always be with the guests and pilgrims. (From Ch. 56 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Who am I? The superior? The guest? The pilgrim? The Christian vision of unity recognizes Christ in all of my aspects, and in the aspects of everyone I meet.

Chapter 55: Clothing and footwear for the community (paragraphs 3-4)

There is one saying, however, from the Acts of the Apostles which the superior must always bear in mind, namely that proper provision was made according to the needs of each. (From para. 4 of Ch. 55 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Accumulation of stuff is a problem in my household. What if I more carefully discerned what each of us really needs -- a word, a look, a gesture, a prayer?

Chapter 55: Clothing and footwear for the community (paragraphs 1-2)

However the superior should see to it that the garments are not short and ill-fitting but appropriate to the size and build of those who wear them. (From para. 1 of Ch. 55 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

With all of Benedict's concern for economy and practicality, I'm touched by his attention to appropriate fit. This speaks to me of the dignity of the body, and offers a gentle challenge to bear with honor the indwelling spirit.

Chapter 54: The reception of letters and gifts in the monastery

No one in a monastic community may receive or send to others letters, gifts of piety or any little tokens without the permission of the superior, whether it is their parents who are concerned or anyone else at all or another member of the community. (From Ch. 54 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Benedict reminds me to give and to receive without the strings of my ego attached.

Chapter 53: The reception of guests (paragraphs 5-6)

The kitchen to serve the superior together with the guests should be quite separate, so that guests, who are never lacking in a monastery, may not unsettle the community by arriving, as they do, at all times of the day. (From para. 5 of Ch. 53 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

My household isn't large enough to contain two kitchens.  And yet, I respond to the parallel arrangement that Benedict describes, of hospitality and stability standing side by side.

Chapter 53: The reception of guests (paragraphs 1-4)

The greatest care should be taken to give a warm reception to the poor and to pilgrims, because it is in them above all others that Christ is welcomed. (From para. 4 of Ch. 53 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The poor are those without possessions. Pilgrims are those who leave everything behind to seek. Being unencumbered, they can become more transparent, so that Christ radiates from them more clearly. Being poor, a pilgrim, and unencumbered is also the way of saying the mantra.

Chapter 52: The oratory of the monastery

The oratory must be simply a place of prayer, as the name itself implies, and it must not be used for any other activities at all nor as a place for storage of any kind. (From Ch. 52 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Jesus teaches me: "But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret" (Matt 6:6). My inner room is my heart, my oratory, where Jesus dwells. In this oratory it is always time for spring cleaning, for selfless attention to the mantra, and for clearing out clutter, self-will, and all of my psychological baggage.

Chapter 51: Those on local errands or work

Any who are sent on an errand which will allow them to return to the monastery on the same day must not eat outside, in spite of pressing invitations whatever their source, unless the superior has approved this. (From Ch. 51 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Too rushed, too tired, too many bad habits -- I can be quick to rationalize reasons why I can "skip out" on my spiritual attentiveness. St. Benedict is reminding me to return always to my source.

Chapter 50: Those whose work takes them away from the monastery

In the same way those sent on a journey must be careful not to omit the hours of prayer which are prescribed for the whole community. (From para. 2 of Ch. 50 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

In Benedict's monastery, saying the Divine Office guides the community in always putting God first, and in this way helps the community to keep time holy. In the same way, my regular hours of meditation act as a corrective to aspects of my life that would leave me wandering, confused, and alienated.

Chapter 49: How Lent should be observed in the monastery

Therefore we urge that all in the monastery during these holy days of Lent should look carefully at the integrity of their lives and get rid in this holy season of any thoughtless compromises which may have crept in at other times. (From para. 1 of Ch. 49 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Where are the gaps between who I am and what I do? When do distractions create thoughtless compromises in my life? Am I attentive to the times when compulsion overtakes patience, when being self-important overtakes being kind?

Chapter 48: Daily manual labor (paragraphs 6-7)

If there are any who are so feckless and lazy that they have become unwilling or unable any longer to study or read seriously then they must be given suitable work which is within their powers so that they may not sink into idleness. (From para. 6 of Ch. 48 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Idleness seems to me to be a disconnect between body and soul - a forgetting of the awe in which Benedict wants me always to live. When awe is a part of my whole being, then attention is natural, and work becomes holy.

Chapter 48: Daily manual labor (paragraphs 3-5)

From the first of October to the beginning of Lent they should devote themselves to lectio divina until the end of the second hour, at which time they gather for Terce and then they work at the tasks assigned to them until the ninth hour. (From para. 3 of Ch. 48 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

My copy of the Rule carries a special note on "hours" in the Rule: "For the Romans, each day (from dawn to dusk) and each night (from dusk to dawn) was divided into twelve 'hours'. The actual length of these 'hours' varied according to the season.... Timekeeping, therefore, called for a special expertise and flexibility." I am grateful for the realization that, even in my own life, time can have a malleable quality, and find its purpose in bringing me to God.

     

Chapter 48: Daily manual labor (paragraphs 1-2)

It may be, of course, that because of local conditions or the poverty of the monastery the community may themselves have to do the harvest work. If that happens it should not discourage anyone because they will really be in the best monastic tradition if the community is supported by the work of their own hands. (From para. 2 of Ch. 48 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

It seems to be that it's in that flashpoint, between hand and heart, that awareness can be sparked, my attention can become full, and my work, no matter how small, can become energized by the Spirit.

Chapter 47: Signalling the times for the work of God

The superior is personally responsible for making sure that the time for the work of God, both at night at during the daytime, is clearly made known to all. (From para. 1 of Ch. 47 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

This chapter speaks to me about the discipline of twice-daily practice, a regular "letting go" of "my time" for God's time, in a way that helps me to realize that all time is God's time.

Chapter 46: Faults committed elsewhere

Any member of the community who in the course of some work in the kitchen, in the stores, while fulfilling a service to others or in the bakery, the garden or the workshops or anywhere else does something wrong or happens to break or lose something or to be guilty of some other wrongdoing, must as soon as possible appear before the superior and the community with a voluntary admission of the failure and willing reparation for it. (From para. 1 of Ch. 46 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, this passage helps me to focus on my reason for doing whatever I do: am I doing better at seeing each task, each moment, each person as an opportunity to relate with love and gratitude? Am I better at seeing that, no matter how small the work seems, Christ waits for me there? Am I better at seeing how failures in my attention may require reparation to those around me?

Chapter 45: Mistakes in the Oratory

Anyone who makes a mistake in a psalm, responsory, antiphon or reading must have the humility to make immediate reparation there before all the community in the oratory. A failure to do that so clearly shows lack of the humility to put right a fault which was due to carelessness that it must incur a more severe punishment. (From Ch. 45 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I think about how my distracted state of mind  -- my lack of attention -- interferes with meditation or other work I do. But am I alert to how my distracted state of mind makes a difference to those around me? Do I consider how the consequences of a lack of attention in my life could impact those I don't even know?

Chapter 44: The reconciliation of those excommunicated

They should in complete silence simply lay their heads on the ground before the feet of all the community coming out of the oratory and stay there until the superior judges that they have done enough in reparation. (From para. 1 of Ch. 44 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict tells me that true reconciliation, and enough reconciliation, is accomplished at the deepest of levels, in humble silence, in my heart.

Chapter 43: Late-comers for the work of God or in the refectory (paragraphs 4-5)

In the refectory all must come to table together so as to offer their grace together as one community. (From para. 4 of Ch. 43 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I am suddenly seeing that "saying grace" describes both giving and receiving. I say grace to receive grace; I receive grace and express gratitude. The same word used to describe a prayer of thanks also describes unmerited fullness of life. To me grace suddenly takes on the aspect of relationship between the one who says thank you and the One who gives all. No wonder, then, that Benedict calls the whole community together for this dynamic event.

Chapter 43: Late-comers for the work of God or in the refectory (paragraphs 1-3)

When the time comes for one of the Divine offices to begin, as soon as the signal is heard, everyone must set aside whatever they may have in hand and hurry as fast as possible to the oratory, but of course they should do so in a dignified way which avoids giving rise to any boisterous behaviour. The essential point is that nothing should be accounted more important that the work of God. (From para. 1 of Ch. 43 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I love how, in a long and practical sentence, St. Benedict describes exactly how to deal with what my ego might consider to be interruption. Then, in a short sentence, he makes his point. Meditation teaches me how to deal with distraction, or with the utterly unexpected, so that I learn to pay attention to what is essential.

Chapter 42: The great silence after Compline

Silence should be sought at all times by monks and nuns and this is especially important for them at night time. (From para. 1 of Ch. 42 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Silence comes to me in moments of peace of mind, as a fruit of meditation. It is an interior remembering that I rest at all times, in all conditions, in God.

Chapter 41: The times for community meals

The principle is that the superior should manage everything so prudently that the saving work of grace may be accomplished in the community and whatever duties the community undertakes they may be carried out without any excuse for murmuring. (From para. 1 of Ch. 41 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St Benedict uses ordinary examples such as amounts of food and drink, and meal schedules, to offer a basic principle of leadership: managing wisely. He offers compassionate disciplines for personal growth and community well-being, ones that fit well into my own life. I am awed by the purpose of wise management: so that in everything the saving work of grace may be accomplished.

Chapter 40: The proper amount of drink to be provided

St Paul says that each of us has a special gift from God, one kind for one of us and quite a different one for another. That reflection makes me reluctant to decide on the measure of food and drink for others. (From para. 1 of Ch. 40 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict's vision of how the gifts of the Spirit can penetrate my life at seemingly simple and mundane levels (e.g., how much I drink or eat), helps me to realize in what embodied and ordinary ways grace builds on nature.

Chapter 39: The amount of food to be made available

We must always be careful, however, to avoid excessive eating which might also cause indigestion. Nothing is so opposed to Christian values as overeating, as we can see from the words of our Lord: take care that your hearts are not weighed down by overeating. (From para. 2 of Ch. 39 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I'm always startled by the strength of these words: Nothing is so opposed to Christian values as overeating. I can think of a lot of worse behaviors than overeating, and yet Benedict challenges me to grasp his point. Perhaps he's telling me that any kind of addiction weighs down my consciousness and limits my freedom of spirit. Perhaps he's telling me that the physical heart and the spiritual heart are mysteriously bonded, and that I should extend the utmost care to them both.

Chapter 38: The weekly reader 

During meals there should be complete silence disturbed by no whispering nor should anyone's voice be heard except the reader's. Everyone in the community should be attentive to the needs of their neighbours as they eat and drink so that there should be no need for anyone to ask for what they require. (From para. 2 of Ch. 38 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

This instruction on total attention that takes in both the reader and the community seems almost contradictory, and yet I think it can all somehow work together through love. It reminds me of Jesus' teaching that the kingdom of God is both within and among us.

Chapter 37: Care for the elderly and the young

Human nature itself is drawn to tender concern for those in the two extremes of age and youth, but the authority of the Rule should reinforce this natural instinct. Their frailty should always be given consideration so that they should not be strictly bound to the provisions of the Rule in matters of diet. (From Ch. 37 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

As a fruit of meditation, of fidelity to the mantra, I experience a growing alertness to the call of frailty, and a tender response.

Chapter 36: The care of the sick in the monastery 

The care of those who are sick in the community is an absolute priority, which must rank before every other requirement, so that there may be no doubt that it is Christ who is truly served in them.

(From para. 1 of Ch. 36 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

From time to time, I've noticed when someone is repulsed by the sickness of others, or avoids admitting to sickness in themselves as if it were a character flaw. But I hear St. Benedict suggesting that it is the sick who most truly represent Christ, and that their care is an absolute priority. This coincides with my own experience that the sick or the frail are sometimes the most "transparent" in a sense, revealing something about creation, that creation is animated not by ego but by love.

Chapter 35: Weekly servers in the kitchen and at table (paragraphs 3-4)

One hour before the time of a meal those serving in the kitchen and at table should each receive a drink and some bread in addition to their regular portion. This will help them to serve the community at mealtime without stress and without murmuring about their lot. (From para. 3 of Ch. 35 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Serving the server -- this is like being the first to be obedient to each other. The motive is paying attention to the needs of others, practicing kindness, and integrating everyone into the community in harmony.

Chapter 35: Weekly servers in the kitchen and at table (paragraphs 1-2)

Everyone in the community should take turns serving in the kitchen and at table. None should be exonerated from kitchen duty except in the case of sickness or the call of some important business for the monastery, because serving each other in this way has the great merit of fostering charity. (From para. 1 of Ch. 35 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict links service among household members with charity. Often service is taken for granted -- I've felt that way about my own service and am too often negligent in honoring others' service. But to link service with charity means that my actions can be loving and therefore invaluable, despite whether or not they get "noticed".

Chapter 34: Fair provision for the needs of all

This principle from Scripture should be established in the monastery, namely that distribution was made to each in accordance with their needs. This, however, should not be taken to mean that favouritism of individuals can be tolerated; far from it. It should simply be a way of showing proper consideration for needs arising from individual weakness. (From Ch. 34 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Meditation is not even "my own" but entry into the prayer of Christ, and in this way I am graced to receive what I need arising from my individual weakness.

Chapter 33: Personal possessions in the monastery

Following the practice of the early church described in Acts, everything in the monastery should be held in common and no one should think of claiming personal ownership of anything. (From Ch. 33 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

John Main reminds me that I don't even "possess" meditation. Meditation is not "my" prayer, but participation in the prayer of Christ. He challenges me to experience how fidelity to this practice of selfless attention bears fruit in generosity, and liberty of spirit.

Chapter 32: The tools and property of the monastery

The superior should keep a list with the details of what has been issued to them so that, when one member of the community succeeds another in any responsibility, there may be no doubt about what items have been entrusted to each individual and what they have returned at the end. (From para. 1 of Ch. 32 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I often make to-do lists, but the way I use them can be rather inconclusive. In this chapter, however, St Benedict suggests to me that even keeping a list can have a purpose beyond the self, for the good of others, and even as part of the mystical vision of everything belonging in the Body of Christ.

Chapter 31: The qualities required by the cellarer (paragraphs 2-3)

There will, of course, be appropriate times for the cellarer to hand out what is needed and for requests for goods or services to be made; these times should be observed by all so that failure to respect them may not cause any disturbance or unhappiness in the house of God. (From para. 3 of Ch. 31 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

There are countless ways that I can be attentive to creating an atmosphere of kindness and well-being, conditions conducive to contemplation.

Chapter 31: The qualities required by the cellarer (paragraph 1)

All the utensils of the monastery and in fact everything that belongs to the monastery should be cared for as though they were the sacred vessels of the altar. (From para. 1 of Ch. 31 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict is telling me that even mundane things are sacred -- that everything mediates the love of God, and that this is reality.

Chapter 30: The correction of young children

There is a proper way of dealing with every age and every degree of understanding, and we should find the right way of dealing with the young. (From Ch. 30 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict's word touch this me this morning in a way that reminds me of my ego's "fight or flight syndrome": rushing into to control a situation (or the people in the situation) because I think I know best, or holding back (because I recognize behaviors that annoy me and I disdain to engage). But such a naive response means I am more reactive than free. To find the right way of dealing with my own degree of understanding, I must be faithful to the detachment of meditation.

Chapter 29: The readmission of any who leave the monastery

Anyone who is guilty of serious wrong by the personal decision to leave the monastery but then asks to be received back again must first of all promise full reparation for leaving the monastery.(From Ch. 29 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict's requirement that I "repair" my false starts, my failings, my comings and goings, may involve material goods, but that is not the real point -- the real point is to repair relationships that have been harmed by my self-centeredness. Realizing such huge implications of my behavior can  make me feel helpless. But even that sense of helplessness is a call to recenter in God.

Chapter 28: The treatment of those who relapse

If even such prayer does not bring healing, the superior must turn to the knife of amputation, following the guidance of St Paul, who told the Corinthians to banish the evil from their midst, and again he said: if the unfaithful one wishes to go, let him go, lest one diseased sheep corrupt the whole flock. (From Ch. 28 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

When is the time to accept difficult relationships, and when is the time to let them go? My ego can stir up very mixed motives, and make situations worse. But God calls me to hold true to the way of growth that springs from my rootedness and trust in him.

Chapter 27: The superior's care for the excommunicated

Therefore the superior should use every curative skill as a wise doctor does, for instance by sending in senpectae, that is, mature and wise senior members of the community who may discreetly bring counsel to one who is in a state of uncertainty and confusion; their task will be to show the sinner the way to humble reconciliation and also to bring consolation, as St Paul also urges, to one in danger of being overwhelmed by excessive sorrow and in need of the reaffirmation of love which everyone in the community must achieve through their prayer. (From para. 1 of Ch. 27 of St. Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

After having made my way through the difficult chapters on punishment, I'm glad to read the outpouring of compassionate inclusion that Benedict bestows upon the "one in danger of being overwhelmed by excessive sorrow". I hear him saying that the wisdom that cures is not driven by anyone's ego, but by the selfless attention of the community's prayer.

Chapter 26: Unlawful association with the excommunicated

If any member of the community presumes without the permission of the abbot or abbess to associate in any way with or speak to or give instructions to one who has been excommunicated then that person should receive exactly the same punishment of excommunication. (Ch. 26 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Interior growth happens between an individual and God, and I must respect that precious space in myself and others. In doing so, I can become a more constructive presence in community.

Chapter 25: Punishment for more serious faults

None of the community should associate with or talk to the guilty person, who is to persevere alone in sorrow and penance in whatever work has been allotted, remembering St Paul's fearful judgement when he wrote to the Corinthians that: such a one should be handed over for the destruction of the flesh so that the spirit maybe saved on the day of the Lord. (From Ch. 25 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict's words sound harsh to me, and yet they offer the solace of solitude, work and prayer that build up interiority. His words also remind me to be patient and respectful of the difficulties that can be associated with inner growth -- mine and another's.

Chapter 24: Different degrees of severity in punishment

The severity of excommunication or any other punishment should correspond to the gravity of the fault committed, and it is for the superior to decide about the seriousness of faults. (From Ch. 24 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

How often has my ego asserted its "right" to overreact?  May my temper give way to self-control, appropriateness, respect.

Chapter 23: Faults which deserve excommunication

If even this does not bring reform then excommunication should be the next penalty, provided that the meaning of such a punishment is really understood. (From Ch. 23 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Today, excommunication carries the terrible implication of shunning. But in Benedict's day, I sense that the term was used to the create some strict boundaries to help a troubled soul appreciate the power and purpose of community. In my own life, habits of mind like judgment, alienation, and fantasy, carry their own misery, not unlike shunning or being shunned, though maybe on a more subtle level. Meditation helps me to recognize these self-centered mindsets that draw me away from community.

Chapter 22: Sleeping arrangements for the community

In the morning, as they are getting up for the work of God, they should quietly give encouragement to those who are sleepy and given to making excuses for being late. (From para. 2 of Ch. 22 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

A note of tenderness sounds here, making life sweet. As John Main said, small kindnesses are the best way to prepare for meditation.

Chapter 21: The deans of the monastery

If any of the deans are affected by some breath of pride which lays them open to adverse criticism, they should be corrected once or twice or even three times. (From para. 2 of Ch. 21 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The breath is something close and consistent and invisible. "Breath of pride" reminds me that egoism can insinuate its way into anything, even distorting what should be service into power over others.

Chapter 20: The ideal of true reverence in prayer

When we come, then, with our requests in prayer before the Lord, who is God of all creation, is it not all the more important that we should approach him in a spirit of real humility and a devotion that is open to him alone and free from distracting thoughts? (From Ch. 20 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I resonate with Benedict's prescription for true reverence in prayer, as a description of meditation. A spirit of real humility -- poverty of spirit.  A devotion that is open to him alone -- realizing the presence of the indwelling God. Free from distracting thoughts -- the practice of the mantra.

Chapter 19: Our approach to prayer

All of us, then, should reflect seriously on how to appear before the majesty of God in the presence of his angels. That will lead us to make sure that, when we sing in choir, there is complete harmony between the thought in our mind and the meaning of the words we sing. (From Ch. 19 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Such complete harmony could only be the gift of God in whose presence I merely practice attention beyond myself.

Chapter 18: The order for reciting the psalms (paragraphs 5-6)

After all, we read that our holy Fathers had the energy to fulfil in one single day what we in our lukewarm devotion only aspire to complete in a whole week. (From para. 6 of Ch. 18 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I fear that "lukewarm" may be too apt a phrase to describe my own devotion at times, sodden with frailties and distractions. But it's best that I don't think about that too much, because that wastes time, too. Better that I faithfully return my attention to the divine energy, as often as necessary, that is always sustaining me.

Chapter 18: The order for reciting the psalms (paragraph 3)

These same psalms are repeated daily until Sunday and the identical arrangement of hymns, lessons and verses is retained everyday. (From para. 3 of Ch. 18 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I believe that what I do every day has the power to change me, especially something as rigorous as the practice of selfless attention. Routine becomes discipline at these depths, and so becomes transformative.

Chapter 18: The order for reciting the psalms (paragraphs 1-2)

Each hour begins with following verse: O God come to my assistance, O Lord make haste to help me. (From para. 1 of Ch. 18 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

How wonderful that Benedict directed his monks to begin each hour of the Divine Office, with the same verse that Cassian had recommended as a formula for continuous prayer. And, for Fr John, Cassian's recommendation of a formula became the key to his recovering the Christian tradition of the mantra. The psalmist, Cassian, St. Benedict and John Main all point me continuously towards God.

Chapter 17: The number of psalms to be sung at the hours

We have already set out the order of the psalms for Vigils and for Lauds. Now let us look at the order of the psalms for the rest of the Hours. (From para. 1 of Ch. 17 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

In reading Benedict's instructions for the number of psalms to be sung at the hours, I glimpse something that lifts me above my small self -- a river of praise flowing incessantly. Benedict's guidelines for fidelity, order, and thoroughness in the singing of the psalms are in the same flowing spirit as saying the mantra faithfully, twice daily, from the beginning to the end of meditation.

Chapter 16: The hours of the work of God during the day

And so at these times let us offer praise to our Creator because of his justice revealed in his judgements -- that is at Lauds, Prime, Terce, Sext, None, Vespers and Compline and in the night let us arise to praise him. (From Ch. 16 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I think that St Benedict confirms the importance of the Divine Office in the life of a monastic community -- the hours of praise throughout the night and day to bring the community together, to put God first, to keep time holy. In the same way, the discipline of meditation helps me to understand the importance of where I choose place my attention, in every minute and hour of the day.

Chapter 15: When the Alleluia should be said

From the holy feast of Easter until Pentecost the Alleluia must always be said in the psalms and the responsories. From Pentecost until the beginning of Lent it is said only with the last six psalms in the night office. On every Sunday outside Lent, however, the Alleluia is included in Lauds, Prime, Terce, Sext and None.... (From Ch. 15 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

In his instructions about when to say the Alleluia, St Benedict emphasizes for me the importance of cycles -- liturgical, seasonal, and personal. Moments of awakening can occur at exalted times, and yet, also as the fruit of waiting, seeking, suffering.

Chapter 14: The celebration of Vigils on feasts of saints

On the feasts of saints and on all other solemnities Vigils should follow the order laid down for the celebration of Sunday except that the psalms, antiphons and readings that are appropriate to the day should be recited; the order of the liturgy itself remains the same as that described for Sunday. (Ch. 14 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

The phrase "communion of saints" has come to take on much more meaning in my life through the practice of meditation. Selfless attention points me away from myself, toward communion and community, toward a sense of belonging that exists in my heart.

Chapter 13: Lauds on ordinary days (paragraph 2)

It is important that the celebration of Lauds and Vespers should never be concluded without the recitation by the superior of the whole of the Lord's prayer so that all may hear and attend to it. This is because of the harm that is often done in a community by the thorns of conflict which can arise. (From para. 2 of Ch. 13 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Forgiveness is liberating. It is a kind of forgetting that is a remembering of the One who lives in my heart, and who, through his presence, forgives and transforms me.

Chapter 13: Lauds on ordinary days (paragraph 1)

On ordinary days Lauds should be celebrated like this: the sixty sixth psalm should be said with its antiphon but rather slowly, as on Sunday, to make sure that all are present for the fiftieth psalm which is said with its antiphon. (From para. 1 of Ch. 13 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Starting out slowly, and building to a rhythm over the week, the psalms are like a river of praise. In the same way, it seems to me, meditation requires patience and fidelity to merge with the divine energy that is the flow of life.

Chapter 12: The celebration of solemn Lauds

For Lauds on Sunday the sixty sixth psalm should be said first of all straight through without an antiphon. (From Ch. 12 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

O God be gracious and bless us/and let your face shed its light upon us/So will your ways be known upon earth/and all nations learn your saving help. I recognize this as similar to an ancient, pre-Christian prayer, given to Moses by God, from the book of Numbers. The early books of the Old Testament teach me that in a covenant relationship, God works faithfully, through human disorder. I learn that God continues to bless me, even when it doesn't feel like it.

Chapter 11: Vigils or night office on Sunday

This arrangement for Vigils is followed in the same way on every Sunday both in summer and winter, unless -- which God forbid -- the community gets up late, in which case the lessons or responsories should to some extent be shortened. (From para. 2 of Ch. 11 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

In the midst of his instructions that solemnize Sundays, I read that St. Benedict compassionately acknowledges human failing -- as well as forgiveness, reasonable adjustment and continued commitment. And so, I'm led to reflect that what I think of as my almost-predictable failings, are also opportunities for mercy to manifest.

Chapter 10: The night office in summertime

From Easter until the first day of November the same number of psalms should be said as we have established for winter, but because the nights are shorter, instead of reading three lessons from the book on the lectern only one should be recited by heart from the Old Testament with a a brief responsory to follow. (From Ch. 10 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I see that St. Benedict describes a rhythm of prayer that responds to the circumstances of nature and draws on scripture committed to heart. Meditation guides me in a similar way to be as responsive to reality and committed to continuous prayer.

Chapter 9: The number of psalms at the night office

During this winter season the office of Vigils begins with this verse recited three times; Lord, open my lips and my mouth will declare your praise. (From para. 1 of Ch. 8 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

The images of night and winter are metaphors, for me, of the experience of silence and stillness, the experience of "being in between time". In meditation, in between time, in faith, God "opens my lips" to a silent, interior saying of the mantra so that the praise of selfless attention is born.

Chapter 8: The Divine Office at night

It seems reasonable that during wintertime, that is from the first of November until Easter all should arise at the eighth hour of the night. By that time, having rested until a little after midnight, they may rise with their food well digested. (From Ch. 8 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict assures me that it's possible and important to live a well-regulated life. In this way, all parts of myself, including the most mundane, integrate into a single motive -- seeking God. This helps me to realize that things that I've considered mundane, even tedious, can all be opportunities for prayer.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 19-20)

Good habit and delight in virtue will carry us along.  (From para. 20 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

In a sense, I would say that John Main quantified aspects of the practice of meditation to help establish understanding of it as a "good habit": 20-30 minutes, twice a day, and saying the mantra without distraction for the whole time of the meditation. But, what can emerge for me from this discipline is a creative rhythm to my life that carries me along.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 18)

We should speak gently and seriously with words that are weighty and restrained. We should be brief and reasonable in whatever we have to say and not raise our voices to insist on our own opinions. (From para. 18 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For some odd and delightful reason, Benedict's words are reading to me right now as advice for quietly approaching a nest of birds, or a shy wild animal. Perhaps he's saying that my approach to life should be should be one of inner stillness, so as not to scare away the possibility of relationship.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 17)

The tenth step of humility teaches that we should not be given to empty laughter on every least occasion because: a fool's voice is for ever raised in laughter. (Para. 17 from Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I recognize that empty laughter is full of ego. But laughter, full of joy in being, transforms me.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 16)

The ninth step of humility leads us to refrain from unnecessary speech and to guard our silence by not speaking until we are addressed. (From para. 16 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Into this teaching I read wisdom about the speed of speech -- or the quality of speech in time.  For example, do I pause so that I may respond rather than react, or even restrain my response altogether so that I may continue to listen to another more deeply? Speaking with a measured but unaffected slowness can have a spiritual quality, allowing my words to come from my heart, and not from an obsession with expressing my ego. In this culture, I think that speaking from a contemplative sense of time is rare and radical, and might frustrate others, but can also, with God's grace, inspire them.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 15)

The eighth step of humility teaches us to do nothing which goes beyond what is approved and encouraged by the common rule of the monastery and the example of our seniors. (Para. 15 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Are St Benedict's words a damper on individual initiative, or, rather, a warning about the ego? Perhaps Benedict is pointing me towards openness to being formed a wisdom tradition, and stability in seeking Christ in my heart. I also recognize the faithful discipline required by the practice of meditation. Humility can foster discernment, and thus, it seems that St Benedict offers me a guide to liberty of spirit.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 14)

I was raised up high in honor, but then I was humbled and overwhelmed with confusion. (From para. 14 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Confusion would be an unhappy end to the story, if I remained demoralized forever. But humbling can open my heart and cleanse me, and grace can bring me to a liberating acceptance of what is.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 13)

The sixth step of humility for monks or nuns is to accept without complaint really wretched and inadequate conditions so that when faced with a task of any kind they would think of themselves as poor workers not worthy of consideration and repeat to God the verse of the psalm: I am of no account and lack understanding, no better than a beast in your sight. Yet I am always in your presence. (From para. 13 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Psalm, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I am nothing without God -- and yet, I am always in God's presence. What changes is my fickle point of view. What is constant and redeeming is the divine energy that sustains me.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 12)

The fifth step of humility is that we should not cover up but humbly confess to our superior or spiritual guide whatever evil thoughts come into our minds and the evil deeds we have done in secret. (From para. 12 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict challenges me to see that to deny aspects of myself that I don't like, or to deceive others about myself, is sin. Through deception, I refuse true self-knowledge and bind myself to illusion. I separate myself from my relationship to God, who already loves me in my totality, and who waits to liberate me.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 10-11)

The fourth step of humility is to go even further than this by readily accepting in patient and silent endurance, without thought of giving up the issue, any hard and demanding things that may come our way in the course of that obedience, even if they include harsh impositions which are unjust. (From para. 10 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I can create for myself "harsh impositions which are unjust". Only God can lead me through the difficult ways of discerning what damages my self-confidence, and what will help me place my center of being in God. John Main teaches me: "To be stable we need to be sure of ourselves. We need to feel we are standing on firm ground and that we will not have our identity or self-respect blown away by the first storms of disappointment or conflict which we encounter. Meditation is the way to this first and basic sense of stability, rootedness in ourselves." (Silence and Stillness, p. 267)

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 9)

The third step of humility is to submit oneself out of love of God to whatever obedience under a superior may require of us; it is the example of the Lord himself that we follow in this way, as we know from St Paul's words: he was made obedient even unto death. (Para. 9 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I'm obedient when I respond to another out of love and gratitude, not out of fear or resentment. Love and gratitude are aspects of my true self; fear and resentment are but habits of my ego. Love expands; fear dies; little by little my ego is transformed.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 8)

The second step of humility is not to love having our own way nor to delight in our own desires. (From para. 8 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Delight in my own desires, as wonderful as it sounds, is but an aspect of my heart closed in on itself. When life breaks open a heart, as it does, faith teaches me that the heart breaks open to love the whole world.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 6-7)

As to pursuing our own will we are warned against that when scripture says to us: turn away from your own desires; and in the Lord's prayer itself we pray that his will may be brought to fulfilment in us. (From para. 6 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

In the practice of saying the mantra, I learn to turn away from my own will. Fr. John teaches me that this is the way of poverty of spirit, leading to purity of heart. With a pure heart, the Lord's will may also be mine.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 5)

One who follows that way finds protection at all times from sin and vice of thought, of tongue, of hand, of foot, of self-will and of disordered sensual desire, so as to lead a life that is completely open before the scrutiny of God and his angels who watch over us from hour to hour. (From para. 5 of Ch. 7 of St Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Meditation teaches me what it means to to cherish a sense of awe at all times. I must have faith that  such wonder will drive distractedness away, so that I will be able to lead a life that is completely open to God.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 4)

The first step of humility is to cherish at all times the sense of awe with which we should turn to God. It should drive forgetfulness away; it should keep our minds alive to all God's commandments... (From para. 4 of Ch. 7 of St Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The first step of humility sounds to me like nothing less than pure attention -- continuous prayer. And humility is appropriate here, because to be in that prayer is to begin, and to begin again, every time I falter in the practice of meditation.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 1-3)

It is just such an exchange that we need to establish in our own lives, but with this difference for us: our proud attempts at upward climbing will really bring us down, whereas to step downwards in humility is the way to lift our spirit up towards God. (From para. 1 of Ch. 7 of St. Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

This is a workout for my ego -- not one that strengthens it, but one that would ease its grip. A blow to my pride, or a step up from my own self-preoccupations, create conditions for me to move beyond my limitations, to find my true place in the Spirit.

Chapter 6: Cherishing silence in the monastery

In a monastery we ought to follow the advice of the psalm which says: I have resolved to keep watch over my ways so that I may not sin with my tongue. I am guarded about the way I speak and have accepted silence in humility refraining even from words that are good. In this verse the psalmist shows that, because of the value of silence, there are times when it is best not to speak even though what we have in mind is good. (From para. 1 of Ch.  6 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

In my experience, words can so erupt so quickly from a touchy ego, creating a cycle of more and more defensive posturing. Perhaps, the loving gaze of silence can melt the ego, and accomplish much more good.

Chapter 5: Monastic obedience (paragraph 4)

We should remember, however, that such obedience will be acceptable to God and rewarding to us, if we carry out the orders given us in a way that is not fearful, nor slow, nor half-hearted, nor marred by murmuring or the sort of compliance that betrays resentment. (From para. 4 of Ch. 5 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, Benedict paints a picture, in this chapter, of obedience as liberty of spirit. Such freedom is immediate -- an undivided response that is borne of love, and not dragged down nor deadened by ego.

Chapter 5: Monastic obedience (paragraphs 1-3)

The first step on the way to humility is to obey an order without delaying for a moment. That is a response which comes easily to those who hold nothing dearer than Christ himself. (From para. 1 of Ch. 3 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, this is a description of utter freedom. If I learn to say the mantra freely in my heart, listen to it resonate freely in my heart, then I learn the freedom of the true disciple. I am free to respond, free to relate, from my best Self -- and free to let others be their best selves.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 9-13)

The workshop in which we are called to work along these lines with steady perseverance is the enclosure of the monastery and stability in community life. (From para. 13 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Silence, stillness and simplicity are the workshop, and the mantra is the tool.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraph 6-8)

Your hope of fulfilment should be centred in God alone. (From para. 6 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

In Awakening 1, John Main says, [Jesus] took prayer as the ground of {...} being, not in the sense of restoring ancient rites or ancient customs from which people had fallen away, but he was recalling people to the basic, necessary fundamental attitude we must have to God, to God as the most significant and important relationship in our life -- in human life. I hold this grounding and expansive truth in my heart: God is the most significant and important relationship in my life.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 3-5)

Don't let your actions be governed by anger nor nurse your anger against a future opportunity of indulging it. (From para.3 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

"Nursing" anger: even the phrase itself betrays a self-deception. "Nursing" anger is steeping myself in the delusions of the ego -- living in the past (what I think happened or should have happened) or the future (how I want things to turn out, or what I'll say when I get the chance). What I'm called to nurse, to nurture, is a constant awareness of existing only in the present moment, in the Presence.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 1-2)

The first of all things to aim at is to love the Lord God with your whole heart and soul and strength and then to love your neighbour as much as you do yourself. (From para. 1 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The "first of all things to aim at" can also be called "purity of heart". Meditation can bring me to this clarity, confidence, and courage, as Fr John teaches, and allow me to witness Christ from my experience of him.

Chapter 3: Calling the community together for consultation (paragraphs 2-3)

Such an ideal can be achieved only if everyone duly conforms to the authority of the Rule and no one gives way to self-will be deviating from it. (From para. 2 of Ch. 3 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

These words call me to re-commit myself to the authority of the Rule, that ancient sixth-century guide for rustic Italian monks living radically in the midst of political and cultural chaos. For me, the authority of the Rule is its potency as a living document, one that can be made real in my life, to what is required to transform the ego, to love and live with others, and to seek God.

Chapter 3: Calling the community together for consultation (paragraph 1)

The community themselves should be careful to offer their advice with due deference and respect, avoiding an obstinate defence of their own convictions.  (From para. 1 of Ch. 3 of St. Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St Benedicts reminds me of the violence that can be done with words, an aggression that precludes selfless attention, and makes listening impossible.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 8-9)

It is above all important that monastic superiors should not underrate or think lightly of the salvation of the souls committed to them by giving too much attention to transient affairs of this world which have no lasting value. (From para. 8 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Seeing that of God in someone requires of me nothing less than selfless, undistracted attention.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 7)

[The abbot or abbess] should reflect on what a difficult demanding task they have accepted, namely that of guiding souls and serving the needs of so many different characters; gentle encouragement will be needed for one, strong rebukes for another, rational persuasion for another, according to the character and intelligence of each. (From Ch. 2 of St. Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

What this paragraph says to me more than anything else is that I am both unique and that I share a common humanity. Wherever I am, whatever my role, there is uniqueness and unity to be seen in each person, and this is how relationships can become transformational.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 5-6)

They should make their own the different ways of teaching which the Apostle Paul recommended to Timothy when he told him to make use of criticism, of entreaty and of rebuke. Thus in adapting to changing circumstances they should use now the encouragement of a loving parent and now the threats of a harsh disciplinarian. (From  para. 5 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Paul's list of teaching styles doesn't seem spot on for me. Even taking into consideration the necessity at times for "tough love", it seems to me that "criticism, entreaty, rebuke" could easily reflect my impulse for control more than respect for the other. Control can even take the guise of love. I think that what will lead me to appropriate responses is a habit of deep listening.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 4)

[The abbot or abbess] should not select for special treatment any individual in the monastery. They should not love one more than another unless it is for good observance of the Rule and obedience. (From para. 4 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

In my life, I see that it's not wise to elevate anyone in a group by giving them special treatment. But, I also see, and welcome, times of special resonance with another, a unique spiritual friendship. May I learn to respond in a balanced way to both these situations, with the priority of seeing that of God in everyone.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 3)

Any, then, who accept the name of abbot or abbess should give a lead to their disciples by two distinct methods of teaching -- by the example of the lives they lead (and that is the most important way) and by the words they use in their teaching. (From para. 3 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I may not often be in positions of authority, but I am always called to be authentic. Meditation helps me to be authentic, my true Self, one with my Source -- one with a divine energy source that can leap from my heart to the heart of another.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 2)

However, it is also true that, if the flock has been unruly and disobedient and the superiors have done everything possible as shepherds to cure their vicious ways, then they will be absolved in the judgement of God and may say with the psalmist: I have not hidden your teaching in my heart; I have proclaimed your truth and the salvation you offer, but they despised and rejected me. (From para. 2 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I have not hidden your teaching in my heart: Meditation teaches me that the experience of the True Self leaps from heart to heart, recognizing with joy the source of divine energy within each of us.

Chapter 2:  Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 1)

Far from it, everything he or she commands or teaches should be like a leaven of the holiness that comes from God infused into the minds of their disciples. (From para. 1 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The leavening power of yeast lightens and expands dough; in the same way my relationship with the Teacher Within enlightens and expands my spirit.

Chapter 1: Four approaches to monastic life

Finally those called gyrovagues are the fourth kind of monk. They spend their whole life going round one province after another enjoying the hospitality for three or four days at a time at any sort of monastic cell or community. They are always on the move; they never settle to put down the roots of stability; it is their own will that they serve as they seek the satisfaction of their own gross appetites.  (From para. 4 of Ch. 1 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I recognize St Benedict's gyrovague as a good description of a familiar state of mind: a diluted, wandering attention, bad habits, rationalizations, self-centeredness, avoidance of commitment. The remedy he orders is stability. For me, that stability is found within the practice of meditation, of simply saying the mantra, and returning to it whenever my mind wanders. The stability that the mantra demands can put me on the way to reality.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 8)

With all this in mind what we mean to establish is a school for the Lord's service. In the guidance we lay down to achieve this we hope to impose nothing harsh or burdensome. If, however, you find in it anything which seems rather strict, but which is demanded reasonably for the correction of vice or the preservation of love, do not let that frighten you into fleeing from the way of salvation; it is a way which is bound to seem narrow to start with. (From para. 8 of The Prologue to the Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

In my experience, the mantra has been a way that seemed narrow to start with, and strict, but has proved to me to be demanded reasonably for the correction of egotism, and the preservation of selfless attention. Meditation is a school for the Lord's service.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 7)

Well then, brothers and sisters, we have questioned the Lord about who can dwell with him in his holy place and we have heard the demands he makes on such a one; we can be united with him there, only if we fulfil those demands. We must, therefore, prepare our hearts and our bodies to serve him under the guidance of holy obedience. (From para. 7 of The Prologue to the Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

What does it mean to prepare my body to serve under the guidance of holy obedience? I am reminded that meditation is a wholly incarnational form of prayer. Thus, even qualities such as physical fitness, moderation, and taking time to "find my seat" for my practice, prepare me to be wholly in the Presence.

Prologue to The Rule (paragraph 6)

The Lord himself in the gospel teaches us the same when he says: I shall liken anyone who hears my words and carries them out in deed to one who is wise enough to build on a rock; then the floods came and the winds blew and struck that house, but it did not fall because it was built on a rock. (From para. 6 of The Prologue to The Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The practice of meditation is the rock that stabilizes me throughout the tumult of my life. So that even when my practice seems mostly to reflect the tumult rather than the rock, I am blessed to know that the rock is there, and that I will find it again.

Prologue to The Rule (paragraph 5)

And so to prepare ourselves for the journey before us let us renew our faith and set ourselves high standards by which to lead our lives. [...] Such a follower of Christ lives in reverence of him and does not take the credit for a good life but believing that all the good we do comes from the Lord, gives him the credit and thanksgiving for what his gift brings about in our hearts. (From para. 5 of The Prologue to The Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I often remember Fr John's description of a monk as "organizing life around an utterly clear priority".  In my life, that utterly clear priority is the practice of meditation. Fr John has also reminded me that meditation isn't "my" meditation but an opening to the stream of love that flows between the Son and the Father. Opening myself to original love in this way can bring me the gifts which are the fruit of meditation.