Chapter 69: No one should act as advocate for another
Great care must be taken to avoid any tendency for one of the community to take the side of and try to protect another, even though they may be closely related through ties of blood. (From Ch. 69 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)
I can't change another person, nor should I try to protect another from the inward growth he or she needs to do. But I can respect the conditions needed for growth.
“Whenever I am disturbed, there is something the matter with me” goes the 12-Step spiritual axiom, echoing this rule. That includes how disturbed I can become when I judge a family member about their child-rearing practices. Too easily I can think I must mount my white horse to run to the rescue with my sage advice or censure. Lord, grant me discernment to know if and when and how to speak, or, more challengingly, to remain silent and calm with those I love. Help me here, too, to move from judgment to love and mercy.
ReplyDelete“Care must be taken that no monk presume on any ground to defend another monk in the monastery…” In a marketplace setting, I can relate this to how factions ruin good relationships. At a personal level, I should not defend or cover up the wrongs and weaknesses that surfaced as a result of meditation. Rather, I should bring them at the foot of the cross for the healing and mercy of God.
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