Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 5-6)
They should make their own the different ways of teaching which the Apostle Paul recommended to Timothy when he told him to make use of criticism, of entreaty and of rebuke. (From para. 5 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)
Paul's list of ways to teach don't seem to be directly useful in my daily life. In my hands, they could all too easily lead me to attempts to control another, and that is not a conduit for the Spirit to guide the interaction. I would list these ways of teaching for the situations I generally find myself in: personal authority based on experience, acknowledgement that I'm not omniscient, and, most of all, listening. Listening opens up channels for the transmission of mutual respect and love.
Reminds me of how surprised I was to discover that “Tough”Love is called that, not because it means being tough with my child or subordinate but because it means being tough with myself. It is tough, hard, for my ego to admit that I, as a person in authority always have a lot to learn about how to love responsibly as a leader. Blaming and shaming of my children or grandchildren is not a responsible way to love them. Abba, teach me humility in my service of others.
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