Chapter 69: No one should act as advocate for another
Great care must be taken to avoid any tendency for one of the community to take the side of and try to protect another, even though they may be closely related through ties of blood. (From Ch. 69 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)
Protect another from what? I believe in standing up for those I love, for those in need. But perhaps I need to spare them my overprotection, when it would hinder their own growth in self-sufficiency, and their own growth in the Spirit.
“ . . . you require the same kind of finesse and flexibility in riding a bicycle as in learning to meditate. The mantra should not be used like a sledge hammer. You must learn the gentle art, the art of the delicacy of saying the mantra” (John Main, “The Way of Unknowing” Kindle loc 2000). The same applies to my impulses to jump in and "advocate" for another, including my children and grandchildren. Respecting their choices and allowing them to suffer any natural consequences of them requires that same gentle art and delicacy. That’s tough. That’s why tough love is called such: not because it means my being tough with my progeny or anyone else, but because it means becoming tough enough on myself to learn how to love without becoming a sledgehammer or a wimp.
ReplyDelete'Tendency to take side and protect another...' person especially those very close to me is a very human reaction. But the rule invites me to touch based with my divine nature. That side of me that desires not only my own spiritual growth but that of other people as well.
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