Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 8)
The second step of humility is not to love having our own way nor to delight in our own desires. (From para. 8 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)
I can experience a certain tentative happiness when conditions are as I like. But I experience joy when I realize when my heart is animated by the Spirit, and thus I experience joy in the Spirit's animation of others.
There is no greater place that this second step is driven home to me than in the meditation practice. It is in the silence where nothing is happening according to my satisfaction nor according to my way that I am learning my way is not always God's way. I cannot force Christ to manifest his presence or announce it to me. All I can do with Christ's help is to be deeply grateful that I am in the presence of God, the Father. In the silence, through "his absence" he is teaching me "to love God for Himself and in Himself and not for any manifestation of His presence that satisfies me."( paraphrased from John Main in Silence & Stillness in Every Season for June 1)
ReplyDelete“Self-will has its punishment but constraint wins a crown”, quotes Benedict. “Meditation is like the practice sessions of an athlete”, writes John Main. “The iron discipline leads to utter freedom of movement . . . “. (“Word Made Flesh” Kindle loc 301). My discipline is far from “iron” as yet, and my fidelity to twice daily meditation is still a work in progress. But, as Chesterton said, “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly”. Abba, accept me in my poverty as we take a few more steps on this path to freedom.
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