Chapter 26: Unlawful association with the excommunicated
If any member of the community presumes without the permission of the abbot or abbess to associate in any way or speak or give instructions to one who has been excommunicated then that person should receive exactly the same punishment of excommunication. (Ch. 26 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)
I've had to learn -- the hard way -- that good communication (or my idea of it) is not necessarily the pinnacle of human relationship. Love, patience, kindness, prayer -- the fruits of the Spirit -- create the kingdom of God on earth.
"Stop trying to control" is a line from Stephen Mitchell's translation of the "Tao Te Ching". It is the ego that tells me I have the better idea, suggestion and even the presumption to think that I know what God is thinking about this person's dilemma. According to Joan Chittister it is "meddling, agitating, distracting a person from (their ) great work of growth." With respect, and reverence for the work of God in that person, I need to step back into silence. The prayer that I would need myself in any situation for knowing the will of God, I offer for that person.
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