Chapter 46: Faults committed elsewhere
It is, however, important that, if the cause of wrongdoing lies in a sinful secret of conscience, it should be revealed only to the superior or one of those in the community with recognized spiritual experience and understanding, who will know the way to the healing of their own wound and those of others without exposing them in public. (Para. 2 of Ch. 46 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)
To experience that most secret part of myself, and to respect it in others, seems to be a part of the paradox of being in true and divinized relationship.
Committing a fault while at any work, Benedict urges admittance of and satisfaction made for that fault. Now how is anyone to know what "faults" I make, especially when I may be alone much of the time? It is in my solitude that I must ask whether I have been true to God in my prayer and meditation discipline. If not, there lies the first fault. Then when I am with people do I put them or myself first. The fruit of my hidden life with God will bear fruit with people.
ReplyDelete“Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly”, wrote Chesterton. That includes living, following Jesus, being a monk or a Benedictine Oblate and following the Rule: all things supremely worth doing. So much of me would still rather die than make a mistake. I trace some of my suicidal ideation in my youth to my inability to accept the truth of my imperfections, let alone find joy in them.. St Benedict wrote his Rule with me--and himself, I’m sure--in mind, expecting me, like him, to make mistakes, to be imperfect in my loving, in my praying, in all I do that is worth doing. When I’m weak, then I’m strong, as St Paul puts it, and I find that surprising fun!
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