Chapter 5: Monastic obedience (paragraph 4)
We should remember, however, that such obedience will be acceptable to God and rewarding to us, if we carry out the orders given us in a way that is not fearful, nor slow, nor half-hearted, nor marred by murmuring or the sort of compliance that betrays resentment. (From para. 4 of Ch. 5 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)
The destructive behaviors that St. Benedict so astutely describes are passive-aggressive; for me, the way forward out of such a negative cycle is kindness of heart -- a fruit of (and preparation for) meditation.
"God loves a cheerful giver" (2 Cor. 9:7). I feel good when I am given the chance to give, either in terms of material goods or in kind. But I need to be purified in this area particularly in times when the call for giving will cause me inconvenience or even pain. This is also true in practicing obedience both to superiors and ‘friends’ in this journey.
ReplyDelete“God loves a cheerful giver” (2Cor 9:7) Forgive me once again, Abba, my God: I can still be such a begrudging, “murmuring” giver. I am such a hoarder and lover of material “things”, including my youth and my health. The aging, illness, and death every human being must face, bring the ultimate downsizing. Dust to dust. Over the past decade we have been downsizing, going from the big home where we raised our children to a smaller one and finally, now, to our “old folks home”, this condominium. Abba, help me to learn to give—and to give up—cheerfully, even this life itself, to obey as a happy child taken up in its mother’s arms.
ReplyDeleteIt is often difficult to remember who is asking; who is knocking at the door because of my feelings which are "saran-wrapped" with my ego. For the "unhesitating" obedience to the Other I need the scissors of love to cut away the wrap and give what is requested in joyful love without strings attached. For "the Lord's meaning is Love. Love is His only meaning."(Julian of Norwich) My response needs to be the same.
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