Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 14)
I was raised up high in honour but then I was humbled and overwhelmed with confusion. In the end we may learn to say: it was good for me, Lord, that you humbled me so I might learn your precepts. (From para. 14 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)
Confusion in emotional matters can lead me to make assumptions and even to get angry. My ego greatly dislikes feeling put down or rejected, and it can strike back on fear. But I'm learning that the very experience of humbling confusion can be a call, a clear call, to the cleansing work of meditation.
Benedict’s ideal of humility continues to challenge me: consider myself “lower and of lesser account than anyone else”? Yet you did say the last would be first, take the last place at a banquet, he who humbles himself will be exalted. Again, you invite me to learn the joy of humble service, that perfect joy of St. Francis who was enthused to be called a “Friar Minor”. And you, Lord, point out to me the pathway to wisdom and to joy: to turn once more and become little and simple, like the little child you so love.
ReplyDeleteIn this chapter, Benedict quotes from Psalm 22 ,"I am truly a worm, not even human, scorned and despised by all" which indicates the kind of suffering Christ endured at the end of his life. I try not to think about my self-worth here, but rather about how I try to hide my fragility and weaknesses and inadequacies. In facing them squarely in the face, my vulnerabilities can push me to reach out to others who are "despised and scorned". They become other Christs for me and I can turn self-abasement into a good and a "blessing".
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